Parents Who Traumatize their Kids For “Likes” on Social Media

As published on www.medium.com

scared boy

I  couldn’t believe what I was seeing! It was a video on YouTube where a father stormed into his child’s room, demanded to see a report from school. He was not happy with what he saw. The father got angry with the child telling him he was going to teach him a lesson.

Leaving the room, the father went into a nearby room and got a hammer and angrily stormed back into the boy’s bedroom with a hammer in his hand. The little boy started crying and screaming. Then, the dad grabbed a video game system and started pounding it with the hammer. After it was knocked to the floor, he kept hitting it and pounding it while the child watched and screamed and cried.

The video, then, showed the father cracking up laughing as he moved into the hallway.

Mind you, this whole event was being video taped by an older brother. So the dad enlisted the help from another kid, causing that kid to be a victim of his sick comedy as well.

So shortly thereafter, the dad went back into his kid’s room and told him it wasn’t really his game system that had been destroyed. He showed the boy his game system and said he was trying just fooling with him to teach him a lesson. The kid was devastated that the father would think that’s funny.

What father, in his right mind, would expect a 6 year old kid to understand that that was a joke!?

The definition of trauma is when a child thinks his life is in danger. So, if you see your big angry father storm into your room with a hammer, what would YOU think?

A traumatized child can experience sleep problems, mood regulation problems, nightmares, difficulty with impulsive behavior and trust. The anxiety caused by trauma can induce stomach aches and headaches, and other physical symptoms. These symptoms can be very subtle, but can be buried in the child’s subconscious causing self defeating patterns later on in life.

This is not funny. Sure you like to tease your kids. Sure it’s fun when they develop a sense of humor and you can joke around with them. But there is nothing funny about inflicting purposeful trauma on your child so you can get a lot of likes on YouTube. That only increases the humiliation for your kid. Parents, yes, play with your kids; enjoy your kids; but think first. Is it worth making your kid hate you and cause debilitating effects later? There are better ways to parent.

Peaceful Parenting: 10 Essential Principles

Yoga for kids

Kim myers empowering girls

Teaching yoga to kids, helps increase their concentration, improves self esteem and confidence and encourages them to be aware of their bodies and emotions.

Here, Kimberly Myers, Registered Yoga Teacher at the Marianne Clyde Center for Holistic Psychotherapy, is having fun teaching some yoga basics to girls ages 9-14 at our local “Empowering Girls” event.

Teaching girls how to have fun while recognizing and releasing stress is an important part of a healthy exercise regimen and overall happy life.

Kim teaches individualized yoga instruction to parents and can help you include your children in your practice.  Call her at 540-347-3797.

Kim is the founder of Rogue Fit and says, “Your yoga can be just as deep and insightful as those yogis who are more bendy and ‘capable.’ Yoga is yoga is yoga.” Come, learn and enjoy!

Using food to teach your child mindfulness

Teaching mindfulness to kids can be done using every day activities.  Today, Certified Meditation Instructor at the Marianne Clyde Center for Holistic Psychotherapy gives you a quick tip about how to do it with food. If you want easy ways to teach your kids to slow down and savor life, Steffie Foard can lead the way.  When they slow down, they are able to discern that still small voice within them that will help them make better decisions. And it works for mom and dad too! Try it.

The Detrimental Effects of Stress Toxification on Your Child (and how you can help)

sick kidWhat if your child’s brain cells were being eaten away? What if you notice that he’s been having trouble learning new things or having difficulty with his memory? Has he started talking excessively, or is he constantly fidgety? Is he complaining of feeling like bugs are crawling all over his skin? Does he have headaches; is his heart pumping fast? Is he having stomach aches, constipation, diarrhea?
All this can be signs of stress toxification. A small amount of adrenaline and cortisol can be beneficial. Cortisol can regulate blood pressure, manage glucose levels and enhance the immune system. Adrenaline, in small, temporary doses, can increase memory and alertness as well as improve brain function. The problem comes when kids are under constant stress, experiencing too many demands and pressures with no safe place to decompress. Chronic stress causes a constant flow of what are supposed to be ‘health-aiding hormones’ to become toxic. Instead of short bursts of energy and improved memory and immune function, they can turn on your child and cause a variety of negative symptoms as mentioned above, leading to serious illness.
What can you do, as a parent? Read full article here in the Huffington Post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Ways to Bring Out the Best in Your Kid

 

Imagine your kid engrossed in something that keeps his attention for hours, expands his senses, nurtures his awareness, calms him down and strengthens his immune system. And it has nothing to do with electronics or medication.

Imagine that you are also calm and at ease and not having to control his every moment or correct him over and over.

Imagine that you are having fun and being healthy all at the same time.

Even good parents get overwhelmed and feel like they run out of ideas, or they just get so busy that implementing new ideas just seems like too much effort.

Imagine learning a few tools that you can use anytime to collect yourself and calm down anytime throughout the day. Even better, imagine your children learning those same tools and having fun doing it, creating a calmer, healthier and more pleasant environment in the home.

Imagine that you could start right away, creating good memories, less stress in your relationships and better family bonding.

Creating a lifestyle of mindful awareness and joyful living is easier than you might think. Learning the principles of connection awareness, and detaching from drama (Peaceful Parenting: 10 Essential Principles, 2013) you can begin to create a calming energy within yourself, which has an overflow effect into your home. You know as well as I do that kids do what you do before they will ever do what you say.

It just doesn’t make any practical sense for them to do something that doesn’t seem to be working for you. So when you tell them to calm down while you are yelling, they consider that scenario and think, “Calming down doesn’t seem to be working for Mom, so I think I will yell louder since that’s what seems to be working for her!”

When you insist that they read because it’s so much fun, but you spend all your time on your phone, they are tempted to think, “Obviously Dad isn’t buying into the ‘fun reading’ thing, so I will just play on my tablet too. I want to be like Dad.”

Imitation is a sort of flattery…continue reading on the Huffington Post Blog

Advice from a pediatrician about how to help your special needs child.

Dr Diana ChalmetaDr. Diana Chalmeta discusses when to refer your special needs child to a specialist. We also explore the role of nutrition and how it influences symptoms as opposed to medication.

This 10 part series on curious.com explores different resources you can seek out for parenting your special needs child and where to get the help you need, how to find support and answers and how to take care of yourself in the process.

If you have a child with special needs, this video series is for you! Check it out today!

Partnership works to keep children from crime.

Brenda Raj, Anna Marie Askin-Evans, Elaine Lassiter and Marianne Clyde (left to right) are working together to help at-risk youth avoid future trouble with the law. Fauquier Times Staff Photo

Brenda Raj, Anna Marie Askin-Evans, Elaine Lassiter and Marianne Clyde (left to right) are working together to help at-risk youth avoid future trouble with the law. Fauquier Times Staff PhotoWith positive reinforcement, group therapy and a partnership with juvenile courts, one group plans to keep at-risk teens from a life of crime.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marianne Clyde, a Warrenton-based therapist, and Elaine Lassiter, the director of the county’s department of juvenile courts, have partnered to create a therapy program for at-risk youth.

First, Lassiter and her team determine if children in the court system present a low, moderate or high risk of committing crimes.

“The court system should be focusing on the moderate- or high-risk kids,” Lassiter said.

But for the younger ones or those without a criminal history, she wants to give them a chance to learn before they end up in front of a judge again.

Read the whole story here.

As posted in the Fauquier Times, by Michael Melkonian, December 9, 2015

 

 

 

 

 

One little song can change the world!

I have seen many people doing a lot of good over the years. When I speak with community leaders  from the Department of Juvenile Justice, administrators of schools systems, religious leaders and government officials, we all agree that early intervention is effective in helping our future leaders divert high risk behaviors and develop into strong, healthy citizens.

If early intervention is good, prevention is even better.  If we can build children up early, teaching them the power of creativity and mindfulness, showing them how they can impact their environment in healthy and powerful ways, we have a winning combination.

Having said that, I am very proud to be the President of the Board of Kid Pan Alley, a non profit organization that goes into schools, nursing homes, abused women’s shelters, etc. and teaches students and adults alike that they have the power to stop things like bullying, and domestic violence as well as the power to build themselves and others into the strong human beings they were created to be.

Here is a short video showing what they do and asking if you will help this holiday season. You, too, can help change the world. Watch here.

Will My Divorce Screw Up the Kids?

No, a divorce will not screw up your kids. Neither will a death of a loved one or a move to another state or flunking first grade. Clearly they are all significant life events.

Divorce Situation and Its Effect in Family RelationshipNone of these things, in themselves, have any power at all to either help or hurt your children. Their thoughts and beliefs determine how they will respond to a trauma or a significant life change. It depends largely on how you communicate information. How you respond or react have a huge impact on your children, not necessarily the event itself. Children learn more from what they observe in you than you will ever know.

 read more here…

Choose well…

every day choices